Following the outstanding success of her third album, 25, Adele’s record label have announced that she is to issue a fourth comprising songs entirely about the travails of supporting Tottenham Hotspur. The album, scheduled for release in the spring, is entitled 82 – after the last year that Spurs were any good.
‘Supporting Tottenham was really what shaped Adele, all that promise and hope ending in bitter disappointment every time,’ said publicist Craig Thornton. While many of the songs bear a remarkable similarity to her earlier tunes; for example – Someone Like Bale (Only Less Talented Albeit Probably Less Chimp Like), Fire Sale of Harry Kane and the introspective Kyle Walker You Are A Squirrel Brained Pillock.
‘Now she’s happily settled with a life partner, a baby and enough money to fund the next Gulf War, I’m sure Adele will be relieved her secret is out,’ said Thornton. ‘That’s not to say I would advise people to buy the album, though. After all, 21 was meant to be about being let down by one bloke, once. This is about 11 blokes letting you down every year for your whole life. Doesn’t bear thinking about, really.’