British airstrikes in Syria destroy suspected IS postbox

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Following the Commons vote to deploy air strikes against the so-called Islamic State group, the Royal Air Force have successfully destroyed a postbox probably used by the terrorists in their stronghold, Ramadi.

The target was described as of ‘strategic significance’ by the Ministry of Defence, whose remit has been to avoid civilian casualties at all costs. The postbox is just one of several high priority targets on the RAF’s radar, which also includes terrorists’ bicycles, allotments and garden furniture.

However, critics have claimed that destroying mail is not only illegal, but also self-perpetuating, saying that ‘people not getting their letters will only turn to terrorism’. A British commander involved in the raid said: ‘It was important that we hit the ground running to show IS we meant business, so we kept the engines running on the two Tornado GR-4 jets until the moment the results of the vote were announced.

‘Unfortunately’, he continued, ‘this meant we didn’t know if there were any actually terrorists available where we wanted to go, so we looked for anything suspicious. Our crosshairs soon centred on the enemy postal dispatch unit, which could have been used by IS operatives to exchange information, move money around, send off for bomb parts, send greetings to each other, or even act as a meeting point for the terrorists before planning future atrocities.’

‘Once we had checked the collection times to ensure we didn’t harm any innocent postmen, we deployed four laser-guided Brimstone missiles. We’ve studied the footage and can confirm the target was obliterated several times over, with no civilian casualties. I think it’s safe to say that IS won’t be posting any letters, postcards or cheques at that particular unit for the immediate future, while any small parcels will have to be taken to the main depot in Ramadi, inconveniencing the extremists considerably’.

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2015 by

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