New Caliphate World attraction to open in Margate soon, just in time to ruin your Christmas. The fun starts the moment you step inside the one way entrance gate, where you will be robbed of your money, phone watch and other possessions.
Inside the new Caliphate world, you can step into a magical world of irrational 7th century violence where terrifying animated characters greet you at every turn, as you make your way through the enchanted scene of devastation and abject squalor.
Don’t miss Abdul the Ranting Mullah and his band of murderous Jihadists who are happy to provide autographs and for a large donation may allow you to escape with your life, head and most of your limbs.
Take the kids into the Gun Factory, where they can assemble their own AK47 and try it out on other random visitors.
Take the family on a thrilling ride through the desert in a Toyota truck whilst trying to avoid the Brimstone missiles.
Throughout the day there are thrilling shows in the square, these include:
Knit a prayer mat.
How to make and operate a suicide vest (volunteers are always needed).
Stone the adulterer.
Throw somebody off a building.
But stay for the evening (you don’t have a choice). Then things really hot up, as you witness flying displays by the Russian, American, French and other world class air forces as they attempt to drop tons of high explosive on you.
Caliphate World its the thrill and indeed conclusion of your life, so don’t miss it. *
* Endless supplies of dates and 72 virgins are available to all enthusiastic visitors. (Terms and conditions apply).
Henry Rawlinson (hat-tip FlashArry)