Friends and supporters of the presidential candidate have expressed concern that Mr. Trump is watering down his message of ‘love and liberal building regulations’ in order to position himself only ‘slightly to the right’ of Genghis Khan. Mr. Trump has been criticised by other Republican hopefuls that he is pandering to moderates with his ban of Muslims, labelling of all Mexicans as rapists and ‘strangling of puppies’ on live TV.
A Trump spokeswoman assured voters however: ‘Trump-lite still packs a punch. It’s like adulterated heroin. It’s still addictive. It’s still bad for you. And more than probably, it’s mixed with rat poison’. However one Republican remained unconvinced: ‘If I just wanted a deranged rant from an elderly racist with crazy hair, I’d have bought Mel Gibson a drink.’
Pundits are asking the question – just how far could an unfettered Trump go – could he outflank Sarah Palin, General Pinochet or your Nan after one too many Sherries? Insiders report that Trump had to be dissuaded from appearing in public draped in nothing but an Uzi 9mm, the Stars and Stripes flag and Hilary Clinton’s head on a spike. Meanwhile his spokeswoman refuted claims that Trump had been asked to write the foreword to the new edition of Mein Kampf.
Of course some suggest that the world is not ready for the full-Trump and that his vision of a free-market economy would like a cross between Black Friday and the Hunger Games. Equally so, his fear of other ethnicities and cultures could extend to include everyone who is not an aging millionaire with ‘something dead strapped to his head’. The spokeswoman said: ‘Mr. Trump’s views on immigration are just the tip of the iceberg. And like most guys trying to take advantage of you, he won’t be content with just the tip.’
Wrenfoe (hat-tip Al O’Pecia)