A spokeswoman for George Osborne clarified earlier today that: ‘The Chancellor in 2016 will be getting off the sidelines, stepping up to the plate, getting off the back burner , running up the flag ,squirting on the lamppost, pushing the envelope and drawing a line in the sand’.
Many in the popular financial press dismissed Mr. Osborne as living in cloud cuckoo land and ‘drinking the koolaid’. His spokeswoman countered: ‘Last night while the Chancellor was kicking a can down the road, he happened to glance into a window of opportunity. Despite there being an 800 pound gorilla in the room; he noticed the canary in the coalmine was dead. the chickens had come home to roost and the Sword of Damocles was hovering over our heads’.
‘Had he missed the bus, caught his thumb in the mangle, pissed on his chips, blotted his copybook, got egg on his face, or stepped on a landmine – this would all have been a moot point. But the economic litmus test is – are we going down the tubes? While others wait for the other shoe to drop, Mr. Osborne will be thinking outside of the box’.
‘Others may claim society is falling off a cliff , we’ve been sold down the river and then driven over another cliff. But we just need to get our ducks in a row on a level playing field before the balloon goes up’.