Sarcasm, parody and irony are all said to have been used in what many are seeing as a broader attack on everyone’s freedom to stone homosexuals or cut babies in half.
IS employee, Mohammed Adir, was quietly working on ways to interpret ancient religious texts so as to justify beheading schoolgirls when the siege took place. ‘One of them had a sketchpad,’ he said, ‘but that’s about all I can remember. I think he was the leader.’
‘The rest of them just sat there riffing gags back and forth and taking central tenets of our religious philosophy to their naturally absurd logical conclusions. They must have been planning it for months,’ he added.
Abu Mustafa, an IS freelancer who was busy cutting the still-screaming head off an aid worker in Northern Africa when he heard of the attack, considers himself lucky. ‘What’s the world coming to when you can’t go about trying to establish a worldwide caliphate of unchallenged barbaric totalitarianism in peace?’
‘I’m just thankful that most of those in the building at the time didn’t possess the requisite critical thinking skills to have been affected. Otherwise, who knows how many might have ‘got it’.’
Sadly, not everyone was so fortunate; the worst affected being the twelve who were subjected to over forty minutes of humorous, rational observations encouraging healthy skepticism and freedom of thought. Unfortunately, for IS and all its supporters, their condition is now said to be ‘critical’.