Notorious Isle of Wight rugs lord surrenders


One of the Isle of Wight’s most notorious rugs dealers and carpetbaggers has been captured in Shanklin. In a bizarre twist, the rugs baron, known locally as ‘El Smytho’ was interviewed by Alan Titchmarsh only weeks before his capture on Titchmarsh’s afternoon programme ‘A nice cup of tea and a bit of a sit down’. Titchmarsh then wrote about the experience in the popular magazine ‘Your Rockery’, after Rolling Stone magazine refused to publish.

El Smytho has been involved in a cat and mouse game with the Isle of Wight police, and it’s understood some officers have also played Ludo and Snakes and Ladders with him on quiet afternoons, and junior Scrabble. He started dealing in small rugs as a teenager, but soon graduated to ‘Persian style’ products shipped from the Middle East.

It’s understood El Smytho wanted to have his own TV advert which is why he contacted Titchmarsh, and it’s understood both men were inspired by the classic ‘1001 cleans a big, big carpet for less than half a crown.’ Now the true identity of the wanted man has been cast into doubt, some claiming that he is the son of the late Cyril Lord, who also pioneered a cure for shag piles.

Whatever his identity, he may be extradited to Portsmouth to face unpaid parking fines. Meanwhile Isle of Wight police say they have ‘no reason to suspect’ El Smytho’s ‘totally legitimate’ business exporting thousands of containers of Shake n Vac throughout the world.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2016 by

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