Mattel launch Barbie’s ‘ugly fat friend’

Beleaguered doll makers, Mattel, have launched new figures to expand their range. The fourth, ‘Ugly Fat Friend’, Kelly, cries ‘real tears’ when squeezed and has a selection of stick on wounds for her realistic ‘Self Harm’ kit.
The new girl doll also has a male counterpart; the ‘friend’ of Ken, James is a social outcast with terrible acne and broken glasses. He is podgy around his midriff, has a poorly executed tattoo and is only invited out by Ken because Ken wants to get wasted and can’t afford a taxi.

These are the first new additions to the range since ‘Burkha Barbie’ and her male migrant friend  who is learning English and all about the role of women in Western society.

Although James and Kelly are sold as romantic counterparts, their ‘play out’ scenario is that their marriage is an empty charade whilst they secretly lust after all their more attractive friends’ partners. Each comes with an optional cat and dog for them to argue over in divorce court.


Magic Spike

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2016 by

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