Owing to further criticism from teachers and parents the UCAS tariff is now likely to be scrapped in favour of a social media popularity index. The radical overhaul has been proposed after lengthy consultation with a team of enlightened careers advisors. The new gold standard will be a transparent and simplified measure based on the candidate’s number of Facebook friends and Twitter followers.
As part of the modernisation programme dissertations and PhD’s will also have new guidelines, and will be expected to come in at under 140 characters.
Dr V.T. Johnson White, Emiritus Professor of Classical History at Trinity College Cambridge defended the changes, tweeting ‘Dem snobs r gonna h8 nu FB shit 4sure lol :-)’