Hazard lights renamed ‘parking like a twat’ button

New Ministry of Transport guidelines will see the hazard light feature on car dashboards renamed ‘park like an inconsiderate arsewipe’ or ‘the do-whatever the feck you like’ button.

The hazard light feature became popular in the 1970s when it was intended for occasional use if a vehicle has broken down or was being towed.  But drivers soon discovered that it also allows them to reverse in the wrong direction up a one-way street or speed along the hard shoulder to skip long tailbacks on the motorway.  But most of all, it is used to park like a twat.

‘Everyone knows that button allows you to temporarily park in a variety of inconvenient, anti-social and even illegal places.’ said driver Chantelle Williams. ‘When you press it, it’s as though the space around you becomes a nice clearly-marked parking bay with no charges at any time. It works especially well outside my friend Natalie’s house – she has a gated driveway opening onto a 60mph A-road.’

At this point the phone interview ended as Chantelle checked her tweets and smashed into the vehicle in front.  However, she cannot be held to blame for the accident as she was displaying her hazard lights.

 

Greencross

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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2016 by

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