Shanklin police have arrested two men after a pop-up sex shop they were erecting in Regent Street exploded, resulting in the death of one onlooker. Three other people were injured as the newly erected structure shot its contents into the air and on onto the pavement in front of a crowd of curious bystanders.
Witnesses told police that one man was hit on the head by a heavy duty flying ‘King Kong’ dildo as he waited for the shop to open. Two other people slipped in a trail of lubricating gel and into the path of a passing car, whilst another lost her footing on a broken string of love balls.
‘It was horrific,’ said local butcher, Michael Hoffman who saw the events unfolding in front of his shop. ‘hey were trying to get it up on the pavement when suddenly there was a great crack, followed by loads of screaming. The next thing was there were sex toys flying all over the place and people ducking for cover. A pair of rampant rabbits got stuck to my window in all the chaos.’
Police are investigating claims that a dodgy batch of Liquid Gold poppers may have been responsible for the explosion. This was backed up eye witness, Evelyn Bradshaw, 75, a member of Shanklin Womens’ Institute, who said: ‘There was a strong smell of pear-drops in the air and my nipples were out like organ stops for almost three hours afterwards. So there was definitely something not quite right.’
A Shanklin police spokesman confirmed that investigations were ongoing. ‘We’ve got a team of volunteer officers trawling through video footage 24/7,’ said a police spokesman, ‘and a generous supply of Kleenex to keep them going.’