Boris Johnson – a right Bellocing

Hilaire_Belloc_Portrait

There was a boy whose name was Boris
He favoured Plutarch over Horace
He said ‘wham, bam, I thank you ma’m’
To many ladies (not Sam Cam)
He swam the proud Olympic tide
And gave us “Boris Bikes” to ride
His City friends green bile did spew
About the horrid, mean EU
So thus it was the awful fate
Befell him, which I now relate
You know (at least you ought to know
For I have often told you so)
That politicians must shout loud
To raise their voice above the crowd
Now this was Boris’ forte
He shouted “Leave! We cannot stay
I’ve tried with Brussels, just can’t sex-it”
And up he got and went for Brexit
He hadn’t gone a yard when BANG
With open jaws a Google sprang
And hungrily began to eat
The mayor, beginning at his feet
Now just imagine how you’d feel
If you’d claimed George Osborne lacked the will
To collect fair tax from such a beast
That had you now as its main feast
And slowly ate you , bit by bit
No wonder Boris hated it
No wonder that he shouted “Ai”
The honest Juncker heard his cry
Though very fat, he almost ran
To help the old Etonian
“Google,” he ordered as he came
“Obey our laws, have you no shame?”
The monster made a sudden stop
He let the dainty morsel drop
And slunk reluctant to his cage
Saying with disappointed rage
“Just one city I can gobble,
but with them all I cannot squabble”
When Juncker checked on Boris at dusk
He heard a faint, remorseful ‘tsk’
The power having reached his head
His political career was dead
When Brussels told his family they
Were more concerned than I can say
His father as he dried her eyes
Said “It gives me no surprise
He would not do as he was told.”
His leader who was self-controlled
Bade all the cabinet attend
To Boris’ miserable end.
And always keep ahold of nurse
For fear of finding something wurst

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2016 by

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