‘Let’s make one thing absolutely clear,’ BBC DG Tony Smythe told a press conference. ‘Once we heard the dreadful allegations about Savile, we did everything in our power to focus attention away from the million pound Christmas tribute we were preparing after his death. That is why we have agreed on such decisive action vis a vis Sir Terry. We have to put victims first. I’m talking about the valiant producers who worked on the heart-warming tribute programmes about Savile. They acted in good faith even though they knew he was an evil monster, only to have their work mercilessly destroyed by the truth. Their pain is uppermost.’
Mr Smythe continued: ‘That is why we have decided to part company with the late Lord Wogan, who has this week repeatedly declined to help our enquiry for what his representatives call ‘health reasons’. This is in our view unacceptable. What we clearly need now is some headline grabbing displays of illogical ruthlessness so licence fee payers will forget how we planned to praise Savile to the skies, and how ITV acquired the scoop that Newsnight was preparing. This, as we know led to an irritable Jeremy Paxman abusing undergraduates live on University Challenge. He has now been successfully replaced on Newsnight by Dobby from Harry Potter, and possibly that bloke from Friends every other Friday, if he can cut the mustard.’
Later the BBC announced that all tapes of Arnold, DJ Tony Blackburn’s dog, are to be destroyed. Arnold appeared alongside Blackburn on Fabulous Radio 1 on your dial from 1969 and had his own office at Broadcasting House. Now though, an ongoing investigation into whether Arnold did an unauthorised woopsie in the Blue Peter Garden has come up with shocking revelations relating to Shep and possibly even Petra, which it’s thought will further divert the media from the glowing BBC tribute to Savile, which the BBC plans to mistakenly show online on BBC Three. Valerie Singleton declined to comment.