The dinner tables of Hampstead and Highgate are in uproar over The Guardian’s review of ‘Hail, Caesar!’. ‘It’s absolutely appalling,’ said Tristram de Montfort, a community arts outreach strategic planning coordinator from Highgate, whose house has a simply glorious view of the heath. ‘The Coen Brothers are surely today’s leading cinematic auteurs. For the Guardian to snub them in this way is unconscionable, and other long words’.
His views were echoed by Fentonella Primrose, a cultural entrepreneur from Hampstead, whose house has a simply glorious view of the heath. ‘No, I haven’t actually seen the film yet – screenings at my preferred arthouse cinema are booked up for weeks, and I obviously won’t venture to one of those ghastly places where they sell popcorn’.
‘But what difference does that make? It’s the Coen Brothers, so obviously it’s a work of genius – funny, poignant, and other good things.’
‘I simply can’t go on taking The Guardian after this,’ she continued. ‘All right, I haven’t actually bought a copy in years, I just read it online, which doesn’t make them a penny. But I shall immediately cease doing so – that’ll teach them’.
Meanwhile sales of organic tzatziki from the Deli on the Heath, which has a simply glorious view of the heath, are said to have gone through the roof as locals turn to comfort eating to get them through this difficult time.