McDonalds to scrap restaurants and focus on toilets

McDonalds has announced the closure of all 46 million of its food-serving ‘storefronts’ to focus on offering ‘degrading bathroom experience’s instead. While the sales of ankle-burgers and Chicken-McWaste nuggets have seen a steady decline for the past 19 years, use of McDonald’s toilets has been growing rapidly.

According to fast food historian John Prescott, McDonalds started as a chain of public toilets. ‘Street urchins would find scraps of meat in the toilets that had come loose off the bottom of shoes and sell them to punters outside to survive. One day a young boy called Ronald McDonald forced some of these pieces together to form a patty and McDonalds as we know it was born. The first iteration of ‘secret sauce’ was found behind the cistern.’

Although the new McBog chain will be free to use, there will be a charge if you want don’t want to share a cubicle with a crackhead and to wash the salmonella off your hands and face.


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Posted: Mar 13th, 2016 by

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