Suicide bomber ‘in bits’ at lack of afterlife

One of the recently deceased suicide bomber in Belgium, Khalid el-Bakraoui, has been left disappointed that his actions have not been rewarded by Allah. Instead, at his death, his consciousness ceased forever, and his non-existent soul, instead of transitioning to some higher plane, stayed firmly where it had always been—that is, nowhere—as the atoms that had been his body immediately started to matriculate back into the celestial dance of cosmic randomness.

‘He really believed in the cause,’ said el-Bakraoui’s friend, Seth. ‘I’m sure it was quite jarring, to expect eternal bliss as a reward for what he thought was a noble sacrifice but then find a nothingness beyond human comprehension.’

A not confused, not everlasting Hosani wasn’t able to ask, ‘Wait, where is the promised utopia for soldiers like me, who murder infidels for Allah, that we believe we are to be granted?’

To this question, an unreal and nonexistent God didn’t answer, ‘There isn’t one. And since you’ve decided to waste your one precious life in a pathetic attack on the innocent, everything you ever did was completely and utterly meaningless.’

‘I really didn’t see this coming,’ el-Bakraoui didn’t conclude.

Reed Arnold (Hat-tip Al OPecia)

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2016 by

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