Costa ‘loyalty’ card holder visited rival cafe


A Woking man who used a loyalty card to obtain discount cups of coffee from his local Costa coffee shop has been branded a ‘shameless coffee whore’ by store manager Brad Fuller after being spotted drinking coffee in a rival coffee house. A trainee at Costa Coffee in the Peacock Shopping Centre told supervisors she had spotted the man sitting in the window of a tea room just off the high street ‘with a slice of lemon drizzle cake in one hand and skinny latte in the other’.

Not surprisingly, management and front of house employees at the Peacock Shopping Centre in Woking have taken the news rather badly.

‘I’m very upset’ said Brad, the current line manager and Costa Coffee employee of the month at the Woking branch; ‘it hurts to say it but Costa UK feel used, abused and just a little bit dirty right now. There are rumours now going around that the man had been cheating on us for some time but we just didn’t spot it.It seems everybody else in town knew about it but we were the last to know. Apparently, he didn’t even try to hide it. We now know he was doing the same sort of thing at Greggs over in Cobham but they were quite happy to go along with the subterfuge. But then that’s Greggs for you, settle on a sausage and bean melt along with a grab bag of Doritos and they think they own you. We don’t issue these loyalty cards lightly and once the bond is broken there is no coming back. I just don’t think Costa could ever trust him again, in fact he can go rot in hell for all we care’.

Costa say they will now be reviewing their loyalty card scheme at the Woking branch and will in future only be issuing cards to customers who can prove a serious long-term level of commitment equal to that shown by the UK’s favourite coffee retailer.

Church leaders have condemned the man’s actions saying it is yet another example of a creeping malaise in a society ‘losing sight of its collective responsibilities in which a coffee drinker can pledge undying loyalty to a particular coffee house yet is only too willing to break that trust as soon as a rival coffee brand opens a store in town.  What’s that?  Free lattes at Starbucks?  We’re on our way…’

Earl Van Dyke

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2016 by

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