With the ominous news that Britain’s loss-making steel industry is to be sold off by Tata, David Cameron was said to be very excited about being given the opportunity to go “Full Thatcher” on a section of industrial workers.
“Let’s be realistic here, we don’t get opportunities like this every day”, said Mr Cameron to reporters today, “although we’re not selling off a national liability like Maggie did in the 80s there are parallels to be drawn. I’m prepared to go “Full Thatcher” on the steel workers. I’m willing to ignore the lasting impact on their communities; build no contingency for the 1000s of workers effected; and should they protest – I’m sending in the water cannons and I’ll throw the first tear gas grenade myself. It’s SO exciting!”
Other ministers were also visibly gleeful in potentially leaving a lasting legacy on people who would never vote for them anyway. Sajid Javid and Anna Soubry were especially happy that they would be able to really stick it to the working classes “like proper Tories”.
Mr Cameron, clearly inebriated with joy, also challenged Argentina to try and re-invade The Falklands to really bring back the 80s. He also challenged one or more of his ministers to impregnate their secretaries and the UNITE union to send forth their sacrificial “Scargill”.