John Humphrys bemoans extinction of dinosaurs

Grumpy and tired

Veteran BBC broadcaster John Humphrys has spoken out against everything modern.  Writing a hard hitting guest column in The Whinger magazine, Mr. Humphrys confirmed his status as the grumpiest of grumpy old men.

The Radio 4 Today presenter says he deeply regrets the invention of electricity and warns no good will come out of the type of unashamed hedonistic living enjoyed by the Victorians: ‘I think in essence it all goes back to the demise of the dinosaurs, that was a point in history that deeply saddened me.’

‘The T-Rex was the epitome of good taste. You never saw them head banging along to songs by the Bay City Rollers or drinking that ghastly fizzy lager stuff’.  Mr Humphrys went up to claim that mankind has been on a downward spiral ever since the Ice Age, a process which has significantly accelerated since the ban on smoking in pubs and the formation of ‘One Direction’.

‘I was talking about just this very topic with my old mate Methuselah the other week down our favourite pub, The Abandon All Hope And Anchor,’  Mr Humphrys adds.  ‘He agreed with me, there’s far too much emphasis on newfangled gadgets.  I mean take the wheel for instance, do we really need it?  I think not’.

David Jenkins, editorial deputy assistant for The Whinger, said they had received a great deal of correspondence from readers backing the views expressed by Mr Humphrys.  ‘We’ve been snowed under with tablets of stone arriving at the office giving support to John,’ Mr Jenkins added.


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Posted: Apr 15th, 2016 by

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