‘There’s only room for 12 on my private jet,’ says Pope regretfully

In an act of pure humanitarianism (whilst still maintaining a healthy luggage/migrant ratio) the Pope has kindly offered hope and boarding passes to a select few. With no thought to the strain on his own in-flight supplies, the Pontiff unilaterally gave complimentary nibbles to all those returning with him to Rome.

Having liberated a dozen migrants from the camp at Lesbos, the Pope hopes to inspire all those that possess their own plane or major religion. Those migrants that remain did ask if the Pope would be returning for the rest of them, but the Bishop of Rome explained that his 2,000 room Vatican Palace was ‘ simply too small’.

A Papal spokesman denied reports that the pontiff had drunkenly made the offer to ‘come back to my gaff': ‘His Holiness selected those to save on a strict criteria of no hand luggage, screaming babies or stag-dos.’

EasyJet had previously offered space in their overhead compartments for migrants – but only those under 20kg. By contrast the Pope, from behind an improvised curtain -to denote business class, was able to offer first-class confessionals for ‘all his Muslim guests’.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2016 by

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