Gove sways Remain campaign supporters with Albania carrot dangling


Many of the organisations that had previously stated they supported the Remain campaign have openly admitted that Michael Gove’s speech revealing a vision where the UK could compete outside of the EU on the same grounds as Bosnia, Serbia and Albania has provided a compelling argument to leave after all.

A spokesman for the NFU said that they were officially reversing their support for the Remain group. ‘Gove has awakened us to the prospect of returning to an Albanian agrarian economy practically based on the medieval UK model. How could British farmers resist such a forward thinking policy?’

Toyota, Airbus and Rolls Royce have all welcomed the model. ‘It puts British manufacturing on a supportable platform, competing with poorly educated and unskilled Eastern European workers. After all, if we can’t import skilled European workers we’ll be left with the unskilled variety anyway,’ a spokesman said.

The College of Midwifery has cautiously welcomed the initiative. ‘Although standards of pre-natal health care are appallingly bad in the three states mentioned, the direction of NHS funding indicates we’ll be competing on those terms soon anyway, so what the hell, vote Brexit,’ said a spokeswoman today.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2016 by

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