Thousands of men who secretly play table-top games with little plastic figures, have had their details published online in the latest high profile web security breach – known as ‘Gamer-shaming’.
‘WAYNE’S BERKSHOP’ actively encourages its users to collect, paint and then argue about the rules for moving piles of badly painted models around a pretend battlefield that looks suspiciously like your dining table – and to do all of it behind their partner’s backs.
Espousing the ethos of ‘Life’s short, be a goblin’, the Nottingham based company has strenuously denied that it’s products – such as their table-based ‘Warplanner 40,000′ – encourage participants to abandon their spouses every Saturday; armed with suspiciously light tool boxes and the flimsy excuses about: ‘Going over to Dave’s to watch Babestation’.
One wife spoke of her disgust: ‘He’d often get plain packages in the post, but he just told me they were football DVDs and car manuals. I feel so stupid. When I saw his name on the list I immediately ran into the bedroom and found a shameful box of 50-sided dice, broken models and indecipherable yet impressively illustrated rule books; which he’d attempted to conceal beneath his back issues of Bra-Busters and a Katie Price autobiography.’
‘I feel like I don’t know him anymore, I just keep imagining him undercoating tiny little tanks with other men!’