Rainbows cease to pay dividends

Did I eat something

As a number of national industries and businesses go into administration, Britain’s shareholders have been forced to take an unpleasant reality check.  Where once a magical unicorn had managed to fill everyone’s coffers, this time it merely pooped in their shoes and ate their chequebooks.

Said one shareholder, clutching an iridescent poop: ‘It started out with a few investments – then it went all zeitgeisty, all modern – so inane that you could feel your brain melting.  Sure, this poop has no actual use, but as long as I can sell it on – who cares?’

‘The key is to liquidate your assets before anyone notices the smell.  That’s when it implodes, somehow sucking all of the money from your pockets; like a kind of evil Hawking radiation – a fecal black hole’.

‘And as for this rainbow having a crock of gold at the end of it– well, that’s a crock of sh@t’


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Posted: May 6th, 2016 by

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