Call for ministers to offer 24/7 dumb-fuckery

Dumb as you like

While legitimate concerns have been raised about NHS weekend provision, many are now demanding that the Cabinet spreads its incompetence more evenly over the week.  Data suggests a sharp decline in moronic decisions from Saturday to Sunday, leading to unsustainable levels of happiness throughout the nation and the accusation that the Government are ‘part-time f@ckwits’.

Those in need of dozy governance on weekends have often been forced to look for imbecilic private contractors to fill the gap; such as G4S or the Chuckle Brothers.  This is despite MPs having taken the Hypocritical Oath ‘to do no discernible good’; which is followed by induction training in embezzlement, perversion and lethargy.

One concerned voter demanded more purveyors of the asinine: ‘To be half-baked is a full-time pursuit.  Too many people are surviving the weekend without ministerial mishaps, which is unacceptable when David Cameron has a Cabinet packed with dullards.  Constituents should expect round the clock failure or at very least a Boris Johnson bed-bath’.

Jeremy Hunt, particularly, has drawn stinging criticism for only providing partial stupidity and of delegating serious moments of ineptitude to junior officials or a faeces-hurling chimp, called Gove.  While privately, friends of the Secretary of State attest to him only being ‘a tw@t on weekdays.’

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Posted: May 11th, 2016 by

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