While legitimate concerns have been raised about NHS weekend provision, many are now demanding that the Cabinet spreads its incompetence more evenly over the week. Data suggests a sharp decline in moronic decisions from Saturday to Sunday, leading to unsustainable levels of happiness throughout the nation and the accusation that the Government are ‘part-time f@ckwits’.
Those in need of dozy governance on weekends have often been forced to look for imbecilic private contractors to fill the gap; such as G4S or the Chuckle Brothers. This is despite MPs having taken the Hypocritical Oath ‘to do no discernible good’; which is followed by induction training in embezzlement, perversion and lethargy.
One concerned voter demanded more purveyors of the asinine: ‘To be half-baked is a full-time pursuit. Too many people are surviving the weekend without ministerial mishaps, which is unacceptable when David Cameron has a Cabinet packed with dullards. Constituents should expect round the clock failure or at very least a Boris Johnson bed-bath’.
Jeremy Hunt, particularly, has drawn stinging criticism for only providing partial stupidity and of delegating serious moments of ineptitude to junior officials or a faeces-hurling chimp, called Gove. While privately, friends of the Secretary of State attest to him only being ‘a tw@t on weekdays.’