Government to tax ‘comparing things to Hitler’

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The treasury has announced a new tax, expected to raise billions of pounds, to be levied on any politician, pundit or member of the public who compares anything they dislike to Adolf Hitler, the Nazi Party or the Third Reich in general.  George Osborne said ‘We have been looking for innovative ways to raise extra revenue for some time and we feel this move will prove popular with anybody who pauses and thinks about their arguments for anything more than a nano-second.’

Comparing things to Hitler has become increasingly fashionable in recent years, as education budgets have been cut and airport bookshops have discontinued selling any history books without a big swastika on the front cover.  With most people’s general knowledge now coming from cable TV channels, the only specialist areas of expertise that have enjoyed a upsurge in recent years is the history of the Nazi Party and shark attacks.

Ken Livingstone immediately slammed the so-called Hitler tax, saying it was the sort of thing that Hitler might have done, thereby immediately incurring a £1000 surcharge, while Boris Johnson said the proposal smacked of the doublethink of the Nazis, thereby incurring an extra charge by also incorrectly referencing George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four.

The Hitler tax will be levied according to the ludicrousness of any comparison, ranging from the European Union, Donald Trump, traffic wardens or people who wish to criticize the policies of the Israeli government. Ordinary members of the public were also quick to criticize the proposal; Doris Watkins, a shopper in Dudley said; ‘this sort of fascist attempt to limit free speech, well, it reminds me of the policies of Indonesia’s President Sukarno and the infamous Surat Perintah Sebelas Maret,’ she said to nods of her friends. However another retired local shopper Edith Pringle, disagreed; ‘No, it’s more akin to Joris Van Severen, and Belgium’s Vlaamsch Nationaal Verbond…’   However, when the Hitler comparisons made by Ken Livingstone and Boris Johnson were pointed out to them, the ladies agreed, admitting that this inspired comparison had never occurred to them, and they were full of praise for the depth of the historical knowledge displayed by the elected politicians.

The Royal family welcomed the new tax and said that Prince Harry was looking forward to his next fancy dress party.

 

 

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Posted: May 15th, 2016 by

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