Johnny Depp in ironic custody battle for dogs

Take the bloody dogs mate

Divorce documents have been filed by Johnny Depp and his actress wife Amber Heard, citing ‘irreconcilable dogs’ as the cause. The couple are now facing a protracted three-way battle with the Australian Government for custody of the pooches, naming Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce as co-respondent – having ‘screwed both plaintiffs’.

The dogs find themselves caught in a courtroom tug-of-war; with the participants torn between loving them and throwing them in a ‘dingo grinder’. Afriend of Depp suggested he was happy to be shot of both Miss Heard and her pets: ‘It’s less like losing a wife and more like gaining some extra kennel space,’ he said. Meanwhile in the absence of a pre-nuptial agreement it is unclear which person retains ownership of their video apology.

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Posted: May 27th, 2016 by

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