Olympic athletes to wear suits of armour to thwart mosquitoes

armour

Competitors for this summer’s Olympics will be issued with chain mail to guard against the Zika virus.

Due to the athletes’ increased weight burden, experts are warning it’s highly unlikely any world records will be broken during the Games.

Olympics spokesman Kevin Hughes explained: ‘We estimate that instead of taking around 10 seconds, the 100 metres will be completed in 40 minutes.

‘As for the marathon, officials expect the race to be finished about the same time as the 2020 Olympics get underway in Tokyo.’

To help runners overcome the difficulties of clumping around a track in cumbersome suits of armour there will be a temporary lifting of the ban on performance enhancing substances – steroid abuse will be compulsory.

Mr Hughes said arrangements are in hand to make the most of the medieval theme by re-introducing a range of more traditional sports for the Games such as jousting, battle axing and flail combat.

Physiotherapists are busily preparing a list of extra items which will be needed in their treatment kit bags – including spanners, pliers and WD40.
Wrexfan

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2016 by

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