Welsh football fans have been bitterly criticised for ‘shameful’ acts of ‘friendliness, amiable drunkenness, singing in tune and other inappropriate behaviour’ during the 2016 Euroscrap Tournament in France.
‘We would like to apologise to our European neighbours’, said a Welsh spokesman. ‘Our fans don’t go to many internationals and they need time to learn how to conduct themselves. We asked our rugby friends for a guide to international behaviour – in hindsight, this was a big mistake. They told us stupid stuff like ‘shake hands with the opposing fans if you lose’, ‘stay silent for opposition penalties’ and ‘the ref’s decision is final’. Thing is, I don’t even think they were joking’.
The nightmare scenario would be Wales going through the group stages and England returning home, leaving the ‘pacifist’ Welsh fans as the only representatives of mainland Britain in the tournament. What kind of message would that send?