Tim Peake’s wife says her husband has become seriously arrogant as a result of his time in space and has admitted she’s not coping very well at all. ‘I understand they had to transport him from the parachute thingy with a special chair and that,’ she said, ‘but he’s still insisting on being carried everywhere on a pretend throne and being spoon-fed liquidized chicken biryani!’
It seems fellow spacemen, Yuri Malenchenko and Timothy Kopra, are up and about and trying their best not to be a burden on anyone, but Peake is convinced he deserves ongoing special treatment from those around him. ‘It’s obvious from all the news reports that I’m the important one here,’ he said, pointing to numerous framed newspaper articles on his bedroom ceiling, then clicking several tabs on his laptop browser and reading reports from there too.
‘See? It’s all about me!’ he boasted. ‘Tim Peake lands with two other people, Tim Peake returns to Earth and some other blokes are there as well, Tim Peake touches down and here’s a picture of a couple of randomers nobody even cares about.’