Realising they would have nothing to base any of their stories upon, The Mail has been forced to sensationally swap sides. With fears that bumbling bigot Richard Littlejohn would simply become a bumbling idiot – with nothing to fill his column inches with.
Likewise headlines like ‘the European Union would accelerate the onset of the heat-death of the universe. You just couldn’t make it up’ may be seriously toned down into ‘Strawberries AND cream at Wimbledon. You just couldn’t make it up’. Although both versions will still come with a Princess Di pullout.