UK prepares for ‘walk of shame’


Dishevelled, debauched and strongly smelling of cheap cider, the British electorate are bracing themselves for the mother-of-all referendum hangovers.  Sheepishly staggering on the international stage, UK voters are going to have to explain how they ended up in bed with Boris Johnson, a copy of Mein Kampf and a lubricated Michael Gove.

During the referendum campaign eyewitness attest to seeing the UK hurling racist insults at a Polish waiter, while dancing on a table dressed as a Morris Man.  Defending their actions one voter claimed that their drink had been spiked with a cocktail of paranoia and xenophobia; although he could not explain why he now had a tattoo of bulldog on his arse.

One bleary eyed Brexiter admitted: ‘I remember shouting a lot, punching a border guard and then someone suggested we go to a strip bar.  The next thing I know is I’ve vomited on my own shoes, signed up to a Norwegian-style trade agreement and declared war on Luxembourg’.

Another sobering Brit, still looking for his keys and postal vote, said:  ‘I think I may have called our ex, America, and inadvertently told Donald Trump I love him.  I just don’t remember – but how bad can it be?  What?  We shot an MP and made Nigel Farage our new leader? F@ck – it must have been one hell of a party’.

Share this story...

Posted: Jun 22nd, 2016 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2019 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer