Husband’s ‘Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone’ vow upsets double negative pedant

A seemingly innocuous attempt to participate in the popular ‘7 day song challenge’ went badly wrong for Telford hand-drier sales rep Steve Vickers yesterday, after his wife, Samantha, stumbled across his musical choices whilst catching up on her Facebook feed.

A stickler for the correct use of grammar, English teacher Samantha was aghast when she saw the Bill Withers classic “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” as Steve’s choice for Monday accompanied by the words ‘Samantha – this is how I feel every time you walk out the door’.

‘If that’s how happy he feels, I’m surprised he doesn’t do a little dance as I head off for work each day’, said Samantha angrily. Tuesday’s entry served only to make things worse, however, with Steve pledging: ‘If me and Sam are ever apart, I couldn’t put it better than Diana Ross: “Ain’t no Mountain High Enough… To Keep Me From You”’. ‘Fan-bloody-tastic,’ posted Samantha in a private message to her best mate Nicola. ‘Valleys, rivers, mountains. Seemingly, the little shit would not be arsed to get over ANY of them to reach me.’

Wednesday’s entry proved no less upsetting however, with Steve posting: ‘Thanks to Sarah, my old college pal for suggesting this one. Every Thursday for 3 years at the Poly Bop…. “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction!”’. ‘Well, yes, as if I really needed another reminder that Sarah very clearly kept you happy throughout Uni’, texted Samantha to Steve. ‘Your best man Pete ‘accidentally’ drops it into the conversation whenever we see him. But every week…in a disco? Classy.’ Thursday and Friday’s entries provided little solace either, with Vickers opting for McFadden and Whitehead’s “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now”, and Marvin Gaye’s “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing”.

‘Pictures inside a frame, letters, memories. ALL of them just as much the real thing as our love, apparently’, said Samantha to a group of friends over a large glass of wine. ‘Out of his 7 songs, it was only his Saturday and Sunday choices that I actually liked – nice tunes, good upbeat tempos and both with the simple comment ‘From me to Samantha’. He’d gone for Queen’s “I Want to Break Free”, and “I Hate Everything About You” by Ugly Kid Joe. Not sure of their exact significance or meaning though. Maybe they were the soundtrack to our Paxos trip in 2010 or something??’.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2016 by

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