Thanks to a shift in tectonic plates, a SatNav update and a petition from New Zealand, Australians are making a bold move to return to the motherland – or more accurately ‘where their sentencing took place’. Complying with international maritime regulations, Australia will set sail with a red navigation light at Steep Point, a green one in Cape Byron and the cast HMS Pinafore from Wollongong’s Light Opera Society.
‘The process will now be accelerated’ said Trevor Strine, Minister of Trade and Lager Distribution. ‘We’re still working out the details of negotiating our way around Africa and up the Atlantic, but even with our accelerated speed, we’ve got many months to get a route sorted out. We’ve warned folk that it will get a bit warmer at first, but later on they will have to get used to a bit more mist and rain…but no sharks’.