As news breaks of yet more questionable moves from the Lloyds Banking Group, Horses everywhere are worried that their good reputation which they have worked so long and so hard to protect is being tarnished.
‘Lloyds Bank have been exploiting the good name of horses since the Nineteenth Century, and we’ve had enough,’ said Thunder Jam Central, a spokes-horse for horses. ‘Blaming Brexit for the latest cuts in jobs and branches is just opportunistic bullshit, and they should be ashamed of themselves. They’re merely continuing an established programme of cutbacks in response to societal changes and a sluggish global economy. That, plus they’re greedy bastards’.
‘Horses are a peace-loving species, we value a quiet life above all else, and so we held our tongue. I was going to say something a few years ago, when Lloyds’ role in the 2008 banking crisis was uncovered, but I got distracted by a nice arse. Zodiac Princess made her availability known in the most shameless of fashions, and the Libor scandal just didn’t seem that important anymore’.
‘But she’s gone now, and we’d like it known that Horses never asked to be associated with these unscrupulous parasites, and we want nothing more to do with them. I’d sue them if I could, but I have difficulty filling out the forms. Besides, I’m a busy horse, and this grass isn’t going to eat itself. For many years we have had a stable relationship with Lloyds, but we’re incensed by, and bridle at, their recent actions. It behooves us to issue a firm ‘Nay’ at their conduct, less we unfairly get saddled with some of the blame’.
‘Can I have that carrot now?’
(Hattip FlashArry & Sockpuppet)