Science reaches ‘Boss Level’

crab attack

Having bested a gigantic crab to obtain a mysterious purple orb, scientists are now confident that mankind is entering the final levels of an elaborate cosmic computer game.  One scientist told us: ‘The clue was that the reef was suspiciously abundant in repair kits for our craft, a glowing sign read ‘here lies an epic item’ and we could all hear the theme tune to The Legend of Zelda’.

Encouraged by the knowledge that many games feature a giant crab as an early boss, the team are excited about the prospect of increasingly difficult bosses – Mike Ashley, Sir Philip Green and finally an orange-glowing Donald Trump.  Admitted the scientist: ‘After a disappointingly easy confrontation we obtained the loot, which unfortunately seems like it’s probably a new species of sea slug – which is still pretty neat – and not a mysti… quantum McGuffin sphere.  Still, overcoming crabs is no small feat – just ask Russell Brand’.

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https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/jul/30/submarine-scientists-crab-mysterious-glowing-purple-orb

 

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2016 by

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