Office worker traumatised by interrogation about packed lunch

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An office worker is in a critical condition following an onslaught of questions, criticisms and recommendations about the lunch she brought to the workplace.

Sarah Denton was subjected to a gruelling 30 minute interrogation regarding her simple but innocent chicken salad. Unable to take a first bite until three colleagues had grilled her, she felt ‘like a terror suspect on detention but without charge’.

‘Do you never add a low fat dressing? A bit dry isn’t it?’ questioned team member Kate Phillips. ‘Have you thought about using a slimline bento lunch box rather than standard Tupperware? You’ve spilt some coleslaw on your keyboard.’

‘Are you getting enough protein?’ asked colleague and gym freak Greg Pelling. ‘I don’t know how you get through the afternoon. If I were you, I’d substitute the potato salad for a hardboiled egg and some roasted chickpeas.’

‘Far too many calories for me,’ remarked team leader Lisa Parry. ‘It would breach my lunch points allowance unless I cut back on that creamy coleslaw you’ve loaded on. Do you fancy going out for lunch on Friday?’

Tragically, Sarah slipped into a coma at her desk and still remains unresponsive to the office environment.

jonessgl

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Posted: Aug 25th, 2016 by

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