Online parent forums were aflame with criticism that Kim Jong-un was asking North Korea to sit a thermo-nuclear test far too early, without proper preparation for key stage 2 and with disregard for the ensuing diplomatic fallout. Teachers reported that primary children as young as 6, were left in tears having to collide nuclei and subatomic particles under stressful exam conditions.
Kim Jong-un had already angered parents with his strict uniform policy, draconian detention policy and his inflexible use of INSET days. Fumed one mother: ‘I tell you, North Korean missiles are not the only thing going ballistic right now!’
OFSTED is still undecided of the merits of underground testing as opposed to traditional classroom based exams, but acknowledged that some private schools flourished in a subterranean setting. However Mumsnet is full of parents complaining that their child is concerned about radioactive contamination, genetic mutations and getting into an ‘outstanding secondary school’.
The recent atomic test is said to be significantly more challenging than previous tests – somewhere between C.S.E. Metal Work and Hiroshima. Said one North Korean scientist: ‘At least a nuclear winter can’t be worse than Theresa May’s plans to bring back Grammar Schools’.