Roald Dahl to be posthumously bullied for Blue Peter Badge


Much loved children’s author Roald Dahl is to be wedgied, teased and will probably lose his lunch money over the award of a gold Blue Peter Badge, it has emerged.

A much coveted accolade in the 60s and 70s, the badge later effectively became a homing device for schoolyard mafia types who used it to locate earnest owners and deliver them a swift punch to the Twits.

‘Thanks a bunch!’ hissed Mr Dahl, calling briefly from the afterlife to explain that he was currently hiding under a box in the gym as gangs of ethereal skinheads scoured the premises threatening to enter him ‘into a bloody sunflower competition’.

Towards the end of the call, only Mr Dahl’s breathing could be heard before the sound of sliding furniture and a gruff voice enquired ‘Can you write your way out of a kicking, you creative bastard?’


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Posted: Sep 16th, 2016 by

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