Poor school children can no longer wear vegetables


A 14 year old schoolboy has had his cauliflower footwear taken from him at school because they didn’t follow the school’s uniform guidelines.  Colin Rafferty was told that his brand new Cruciferous Brassicas, which cost £3 a pair at a local supermarket, did not meet St Barry’s school uniform guidelines, as they were, technically, vegetables.

The ‘shoes’ were confiscated and he was given some real shoes from lost property to wear until his family could purchase more suitable attire.  St Barry’s staff met students at the school gates on the first day of term to check that their uniform complied with the school’s new, stricter rules before letting them to go to class.  Colin’s mother, Carol, 39, was furious:  ‘Colin arrived at school to be told that cole crops were no longer deemed suitable footwear for school.  He was mortified!  He wore them all last year and nobody seemed to care!  There’s nothing in the school’s rules about not wearing a cauliflower on each foot.  It’s a disgrace!’

We understand that Headteacher, Brian Nettles, has agreed to hand back Colin’s own footwear as they were starting to go off, had become infested with caterpillars and were generally, stinking up his office.  He refused to comment on this individual case, but issued a press release stating the following: ‘St Barrys’ school uniform policy can be seen clearly on our website with images showing acceptable footwear.  Root vegetables, brassicas and soft fruits are no longer permitted. Our new uniform policy has been in place since the beginning of September and students wearing incorrect uniform have been sent home to change’.  Mr Nettles would not discuss Ms Rafferty’s accusation that another boy had been allowed to wear half a butternut squash on each foot, but admitted that an exception had been made for a student with a pre-existing medical condition.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2016 by

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