Mad Hatter, dormouse elected to Congress in Tea Party landslide

everyone admits they'll miss Nancy Pelosi

Voters in Wonderland have elected a series of right-wing Tea Party candidates, including the Mad Hatter, the March hare and the dormouse, to Congress in the country’s mid-term elections.

The result was a disaster for the ruling Democrats.   ‘I understand that people are frustrated with our lack of progress on some issues,’ the President admitted. Polls have shown that there is growing anger at rising crime rates, with tart theft at an all-time high, and that a majority of voters no longer believe that the Jabberwock can be slain, but that Wonderland troops should whiffle home as soon as possible. The President telephoned the new Speaker of the House of Representatives, the Mad Hatter – a Tea Party grandee – to offer his congratulations and to find out what the difference is between a raven and a writing-desk.

The Tea Party, a right-wing movement within the mainsteam Republican group, put in a strong showing. Although she was not standing for election, the movement’s leader, the Red Queen, had spent the campaign storming up and down the country yelling ‘Off with his head!’ and ‘Lobster quadrille, baby, quadrille’, which seems to have paid off. The results put the Red Queen in a strong position to run for the presidency in 2012, a contest which will begin later this year with the Republican Caucus-Race. She denied that her support base was composed mainly of dodos and White Rabbit supremacists.

One voter, the Mock Turtle, explained why he had defected to the Tea Party. ‘A while back I was totally persuaded by the cool, purring Illinois Cat,’ he said. ‘I really thought he could make a difference. But over time, he’s just sort of vanished and left nothing behind him but a reformed healthcare system, a fledgling economic recovery, and a broad grin that just hangs there in midair. It’s big government gone mad. God bless Wonderland!’

3rd November 2010

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