Isle of Wight rocket ground test ‘successful’


Not to be outdone by North Korea, the Isle of Wight have revealed that they too have had a successful rocket ground test this week, raising the eyebrows of commentators as far away as Gosport.

“We’re very pleased,” said the island’s Lord Lieutenant this morning, sporting a new jet-black sweptback bouffant hairstyle and full military regalia. ”Up until now we’ve only had iceberg and romaine, so knowing we now have the type of soil that will support this modern lettuce really is a big step forward.”

Delighted islander Jonty Angle said that this was a much needed development for the ceremonial county which, he feels, receives some unfair criticism for being ‘stuck in the past’.

“This really is the best thing since sliced bacon,” said Mr Angle. “When I heard the news I nearly fell off my penny-farthing.”

“This really brings us bang up-to-date – we could have a Wimpy bar by the end of the decade at this rate.”

But the Cowes man is more excited by how rocket will transform his diet.

“It’s going to make a real difference at mealtimes,” he went on, “It’ll really spice up a Vesta curry meal, and it’s said to go very well with spam. A friend has even suggested rocket is lovely just drizzled with olive oil – mad!”

But will he be trying this modern fad?

“No,” he laughed. “I think the olive oil can stay in the medicine cabinet where it belongs.”



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Posted: Sep 22nd, 2016 by

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