Jeremy Corbyn has vowed to turn Britain into a socialist utopia where every family will have equal access to flying cars and robot butlers. ‘Everybody will wear silver boiler suits,’ he added, ‘and we won’t need another runway at Heathrow because we’ll teleport everywhere.’
‘The Tories want to keep all the robot butlers for themselves. They think the ordinary people of Britain aren’t ready to control objects with their minds, or travel through hyperspace at warp speed,’ Corbyn continued.
‘And why should libraries just lend books? In my Britain, the library would be a silver dome with laser lights emanating from it, and you’d go there to use an orgasmotron, a laser disc or a soda stream. I want to bring socialism into the 21st century, by-passing the 20th, which it never quite reached.’