Lego refuse to build Trump’s wall

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Under the hashtag ‘StopFundingHate’ the Danish firm have ceased collaboration with Republicans, The Daily Mail and James Corden’s agent. Citing ethical reasons, the toy manufacturer said they would continue to make Star Wars-themed Death Stars but had declined to Donald Trump’s request for a ‘full-sized’ one.

Despite being the nemesis of bare feet everywhere, Lego were keen to distance themselves from any negative publicity – withdrawing from plans for a Lego Boko Haram ‘Adventure Playground’, Lego Kim Jong-Un with Missile Launcher and Lego Mrs Brown’s Boys ‘House of Fun’. Instead their focus will be on a ‘Brexit Box of Bricks'; which lacks any plan and, despite promises on the packaging, can not be used to build any hospitals whatsoever.

Lego’s rejection leaves Mr. Trump no choice but to assemble his 2,000 mile wall out of pulped copies of the Koran; held together with ‘whatever the hell’ he uses as hair glue. Sadly Mexico had already agreed to pay for the construction costs, but, like most parents this Christmas, had balked at the material cost of using Lego.

Meanwhile The Daily Mail will no longer give away toys but will continue to dispense fear for free. Likewise Mr. Trump has said he will keep his election promises without Lego; replacing Obamacare with ‘Doc McStuffins’, waterboarding with ‘Super Soakers’ and any non-compliant women with ‘Barbie’ – or Ivana as she is known.

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2016 by

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