The CIA and FBI have confirmed they are working on it. ‘Ideally we would like a mad person or terrorist so it cannot be traced to us.’ said a spokesperson, who did not wish to be named. ‘Our preference is a ‘perpetrator’ from a foreign prosperous city so we can bomb the city to smithereens and also make loads of money from rebuilding it – as we usually do.’
‘At this moment in time we are busy compiling lists of easily-hypnotized gullible fools. As you can imagine, it’s not easy, as Mr Trump has found most of them already’.