Electric cars must run behind man with flag

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The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration in the USA today gave clarification on the soon to be imposed safety measures required for electric cars. In addition to a two-tone siren that must sound the word “Pus-sy!” and a yellow strobe light mounted on the roof, all owners must carry a man who will walk in front of the car holding a red flag.

‘The NHTSA has worked long and hard on these proposals with our colleagues in Detroit,’ said a spokesman.’Over one Americans every year are injured by electric cars and we aim to resolve this unacceptable risk to our citizens with these actions. Plus, the forced employment of a pedestrian speed retarder by all owners of these dangerous vehicles will do wonders for the unemployment these blights have caused in our oil and petrochemical industries.’

In California, Tesla Motors owner Elon Musk remained positive, saying: ‘It’s fine. I’m currently working on a way to convert electricity using the phone lines as a transport medium. I’m sure we can have it running in beta by 2020. Failing that we may soon be able to transubstantiate the intolerable smugness of their owners into pure energy’.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2016 by

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