Castro: Grim Reaper 1 CIA 0


Despite 638 attempts, the Central Intelligence Bureau has failed to do what ‘natural causes’ has managed to do in an instant. The death of Fidel Castro, at 90, is less a success for covert operations and more attributable to Mr. Castro choking on a ‘Werther’s original’.

One CIA operative still claimed it was a belated victory: ‘We were just lulling him into a false sense of security…and a cosy nap. It was only a matter of time…or a matter of lacing his Horlicks with strychnine. Anyway, we’d already rigged his Stannah stair-lift to explode’.

This may herald a shift from US interventionist policy in favour of simply waiting optimistically; like waiting for victories in Vietnam, the Ryder Cup 2012 or ‘Clinton 2016’. Thus Communism will be conquered if we just wait for them to die out, global warming will be overcome when mankind is extinct and gun control implemented when hell freezes over.

Cuba has announced a state of national mourning, while the US has announced a state of sheepishness.

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2016 by

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