‘I’m very disappointed’ said Mr Williams. ‘A few months ago, my wife said that I’d really let myself go and, as a result, she no longer found me attractive. Obviously, the only logical thing I could do was build a compelling scientific case to prove her wrong.’
After weeks of intensive research, Mr Williams made a breakthrough. ‘Incredibly, not only did I discover that my wife was wrong to prefer a well-defined six-pack to my sizeable gut but I also learned, quite unexpectedly, that my physique was the apex of human development.’
‘However, when I shared my findings with her in a succinct PowerPoint presentation, she totally dismissed them. She also, rather unhelpfully, repeatedly heckled me by shouting ‘our marriage is a loveless sham!’’.
When approached for comment, Mr Williams’ wife, Sandra, said ‘I think it’s more likely he’s the missing link than an unrivalled triumph of genetics’. She also dismissed her husband’s accusation that, given her rejection of his findings, she was probably a creationist. ‘The last thing I think of when I look at Trevor is ‘Intelligent Design’ she insisted.