The year 2016 has re-emerged from a parallel universe where it has been in an induced coma since 9 January and apologised for everything that has gone wrong in his absence. He also offered to reinstate the scheduled events of the last eleven months. [read...]
The Devil (commonly known as Old Nick) and Father Christmas (AKA Saint Nick) have written a joint letter to the Times stating ‘Neither of us is the other’.
‘This has been an embarrassment for years,’ grumbled the usually genial philanthropist. [read...]
Donald Trump has confirmed that the 2,000 mile long wall he has pledged to build along the Mexico-US border will be made entirely of Lego. This came after his ten-year-old son Barron proved the project’s feasibility by building a scale model of it on Minecraft. [read...]
‘Home Wi-Fi networks can seriously interfere with prayer’, warns the Church of England as they release guidance suggesting that you set your devices to airplane mode before asking for the Lord’s blessing. Studies have shown that Wi-Fi signals in both the 2.4Ghz and 5Ghz bands can seriously degrade and, [read...]