Brooklyn Beckham’s first book ‘made easier for dad’ by taking out words

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Publishers Random House have admitted that ‘’What I See’, the first book by Brooklyn Beckham, is a concession to his father David’s literary preferences, in that it comprises 300 photographs taken by the teenager. The original version was a 70,000-word tome entitled “On the Bench: A Treatise on Childhood Personality Development in an Environment of Subjugation due to Parental Public Acclaim – A Psychoanalytical Perspective’.

‘Dad got through the title and once his lips had stopped moving ten minutes later, he said “It’s a bit wordy”, then added that “People like pictures in books these days”,’ said Beckham junior. ‘I tried reading him the first chapter but his brow furrowed and one of his eyes turned in. After a few moments, he finally said, “I know they all sound like words, Brooklyn, but I ain’t never heard none of them before”.’

‘So we had a chat about what he’d like to see and he said “Lots of pictures”. I know he likes photographs a lot, because he keeps loads of pics of our old nanny from Holland under his mattress, so I just bunged off my Instagram password to the publishers and told them to knock those out instead.’

Random House, who had agreed a deal for the original book, have hastily rearranged their publicity but said that they were not at all put-out by the decision to change the genre and format. They added that the male model and social media star’s talent as a photographer was obvious from the fact that he has 8.8 million followers on Instagram.

Francesca Dow, managing director of Penguin Random House Children’s, said: ‘Brooklyn Beckham’s images inspire a generation across the globe, and this book will give his fans a broader insight into the world seen through his unique and creative perspective – oh please don’t make say any more of this. All right, all right, let’s face it, he could publish his grocery list and the public would still lap it up. Fuckwits.’

Universal Exile

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2016 by

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