US to do all diplomacy by Twitter

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In the run-up to the Trump presidency the US Diplomatic Service has confirmed that all ambassadors will be recalled and issued with smart phones and dedicated Twitter accounts, which they will use to manage their diplomatic missions remotely.

‘If you can’t say “We insist that you cease and desist in all of your overt aggressive tactics while maintaining a fluid and responsible economic policy towards the USA then we’ll be forced to take sanctions and/or bomb the shit out of you” in 140 characters or less then you don’t deserve to be an Ambassador,’ stated a spokesman for the President-elect.

He added that emoticons would be White House-approved only. ‘We anticipate upside down smiley faces for any country that has been beastly to Mr Trump.’

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2016 by

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